HOW CAN WE GET INTO COLLABORATIVE, RELATIONAL SHAPE?

I joined a gym last September, for the first time in my life. I’m 47. The Florida summer pushed me indoors. My gym is great–there’s a circuit of strength-training machines, treadmills, a pilates studio, spin classes….most of which, I confess, I still find thoroughly intimidating. 

But I do appreciate the collective–and personalised–commitment to health that I sense when I walk through the doors. Everyone there shares a similar focus–whether it’s the octogenarian walking beside me gently, at 1.5 miles an hour, or the college student to my left, who insists on running 7.5 miles an hour on a 12% gradient. I was introduced to “Member #2” when I did my initial gym tour. I see him greet strangers with warmth and happily share his tips for different machines and workouts. There’s a group of middle-aged women I see often, smiling and excited for their 2 pm step aerobics classes. The friendly gym manager worked with me to identify my goals and which aspects of the gym’s offerings might be most helpful to me. After a quick assessment, a personal trainer helped me incorporate several new strength exercises into my already-decent daily yoga routine. All of this has me thinking.

As a society, what if we went beyond exercise for only our bodies and instead took a more holistic approach to conditioning, one that focused on personal AND relational well-being? What if we had group  “gym memberships”  to train–not just our bodies–but our inner selves, to connect and work together? What if, along with the yoga, we could take group classes in navigating conflicts with authenticity and a commitment to peace? What if we had personal trainers to identify which relational muscle groups needed the most work and which tools or practices might help? In the world of hybrid work, the needs of teams vary greatly. Could this “relational gym” be of service to companies? Non-profits? Leaders? Or even families and couples? 

Musing about the need for training in connection and collaboration is not daydreaming. On the contrary, it represents a critical need. More than three in five American workers say that they are lonely at work, and Cigna speculates that this may cost the American economy more than $406B every year in lost days. Post-COVID, more than half of American adults report that they do not want to return to the office . The same study found that two thirds of adults also have more difficulty finding the motivation to work. The internet is awash with articles about Quiet Quitting and the Great Resignation. Adam Smiley Poslowsky argues in the Harvard Business Review that the way to combat these problems is through meaningful connection in the workplace. We have a work problem. Or, more precisely, we have a collaboration and connection problem.

Our Primer kit functions essentially as a relational wellness centre. Gyms and wellness centres offer proven tools and techniques, group classes, and personal training. So do we. We draw our tools from a range of fields from health & psychology to education, change management, leadership, and the study of ecological systems. Much like the instructions pasted on each machine in the gym, our cards break complex team tools down into a simple rationale for use and how-to steps. Our one-day introductory workshop offers an orientation to the whole kit, while our short courses in leadership for change and purposeful work enrich leaders and their teams. For the real relational-fitness freaks who are passionate about the responsibility to guard the health of their family or organisation (which acts as a living system), we offer one-on-one coaching to embed the Primer approach.